My girl is having my baby...

Bloody hell......

Thought 1.)

I haven't written anything in a while and honestly it's only because I haven't felt the urge to accomplish anything lately. I've been pretty much apathetic these last couple weeks. I've manged to lose my mind more and more each day. Tonight I regained my thought process and my will to survive. I have a lot of things to work on these next couple weeks. I'll be laying down some tracks for the ep. that should be out in December, trying to spend time with people that I've been putting off due to lack of time, lack of effort and lack of energy.

Thought 2.)

Tonight I stood above a bridge and stared at the ground below. I knew in my mind I would survive if I was to take the plunge. So instead I hacked something up and spit between the yellow lines and screamed "FUCK YOU!". Just minutes before this I had been waiting for two hours for my ride to pick me up from work. When I realized they weren't coming I was angry. I got over it when I ran into a steak sticking out of the ground and cut my leg up pretty bad. That was the best part of the night actually. Only because I laid on the ground and cars zoomed by and one car actually beeped and yelled something. That's when I just laughed everything off instead of getting even more angry. I laughed because of how terrible people are some times.I know if I saw what looked like a man who was hurt on the side of the road I would most likely stop to see if he was ok rather than drive by in my shiney sports car blasting "gangsta shit" because I don't realize I'm white and not from the ghetto. Although I did grow up in the ghetto that's not the point. I just kept going on some rant about rich people and houses on the lake and plastic. It wasn't until I got home that i realized I looked like one of those crazy homless people who yells at street signs.

Thought 3.)

Just incase you folks are wondering about my love life honestly it's non exsistant right now and it sorta makes me sad to think that. I was having fun being single and all but I am ready now for someone special to come along. I dated a girl named Jesse for a bit and honestly I was happy dating her but there was so much missing from that relationship that I had to end it. I went about it the wrong way but oh well she ended up liking someone else anyway. Shortly after Jesse I met Morgan. Morgan was someone I could have seen myself dating for a long time. I was ready for it and everything was going so well between us but she wasn't ready for it. I honestly felt pretty jipped in this one. I felt like something I wanted was taken from me before I had it in my grasp. Maybe it's better in the long run but it still hurt. It still tends to hurt some times. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because of how beautiful and funny she was and how she made me feel. One of those rare moments I guess. I thought I was over it until the other day when I heard she was in the cafe. When I heard that I took off the other way like a coward. Silly me. As for the future who knows maybe I'll meet the girl I'm supposed to be with soon. Maybe I already have. I have no clue. I guess we never really do. Maybe she lives in Hershey Pennsylvania. Guess we will see.

(Thought 4.)

So I've decided that April 1st is most likely the day I'm leaving for Portland but every day I'm here I want to leave more and more and in two weeks I might just have to I don't know. I have money issues right now but when do I not? I did take the time to buy a vehicle exciting huh it's a 91 Trooper and its a peice of shit I will be finishing up the payments in about two weeks. My paychecks got switched to bi-weekly so I only have a little cash to hold me over until then. I really will miss the people I've met and honestly I wish they all had the will to throw away the ordinary and come with us to Portland Oregon. I will miss the band and hopefully if Alex and Joel don't come with me  they will keep this band together and keep moving forward. They are all so talented and this is probably the best band I've ever been in.
I will miss it.

Thoughts 5&6.)

I have amazing friends and Mogwai is so fucking good!

~Magee

So things are good. still. I'm happy down here in the south. I have a job where I'm appreciated. I'm getting to know some awesome people. I am trying my hardest to save money. I have the best band I could ask for.

Yep nothing really new haha except the fact that I'm growing up fast down here. I'm pretty happy not dating anyone although I have been hanging out with a couple girls who have potential. One in particular drives me crazy...in a good way.

Anyway Dans flight gets here at 1 on tuesday I can't fucking wait. I'll be waiting at the airport ready to tackle him with a huge hug.

Anyway I'm take care.

~Joe